Entry 43: Modern Romance……
I literally can’t wait for tomorrow…. I can’t even put it in to words.. Fuuuuuuudge!!!
Anyways….Hey future rosa… remember when you made this video? Well.. yeah Just a reminder.. I am looking at my past videos and omg what was I thinking right? but whatever.. At least I know what I looked like when I was younger.. Dude, today we are younger than we’re ever gonna be…. So let’s blog about my day…
I went to school to take care of stuff… I cuddled with the most gorgeous chubby little ball of lard… I had some bomb healthy motha fuckin’ food.. I was going to go to a party but tbh I’d rather do this.. I haven’t gone out in a good while.. I’d much rather drink wine lay down and listen to some crazy pumped up tunage mixed with some mellow stuff.. MAN i’m so melodramatic.. But I do like to go out every now and then and dance.. well I don’t know how to dance.. I usually just stand there but when drunk it’s fun..
I’m rambling so I’m going to stop writing. hmmmm my fingers cannot stop typing.. I’m going to keep writing until they stop on their own.. i’m literally writing the first thing that’s popping into my head.. SO yeah this is it that’s what my life has come to.. ALL of my life.. MExico.. California,.. Maryvale.. that one time and this one time everything combined has led me to this exact moment here… type type type type type.. so what’s next for me? WEll as of right now I’m going to keep typing, what do I want from this? well nothing but it feels weird kind of like i’m riding a wave going with the flow that my fingers take me… gliding across these keys here.. Think about it though there is always a reason for why people do something or say something.. Example, if your arm itches you scratch it.. or if you say “hi” to someone you didn’t just do it just because.. you did it bc you wanted to make their day or you secretly hate them but you wanted to say hi to spark the fuel and create drama or you said hi because whatever other reason out there.. BUt the point is everything is done for a reason.. not to be confused with everything happens for a reason.. So what is the reason of me typing here? What is the reason that I am gliding my finger tips across these lit up keys.. just flowing across? MAybe I want to go with the flow in real life.? maybe I don’t know.. WEll actually that is not possible.. Because like I said there is a reason for everything.. MAybe it just feels good? maybe more people should do this! Maybe I just need to stop.. Maybe I don’t have to stop.. Maybe this willl be the death of me and I will remain sittting across this LED screen typing away until I rot.. maybe I will stop now maybe I’m typing away until I write what I really want to say but I’m too afraid to say it.. Maybe I’m not afraid to say anything at all.. Maybe maybe maybe.. I can’t seem to stop yet so I’m going to keep writing.. This cyber diary will turn into an epic novel and I will keep writing until I am content.. What if I am never content? WIll I stay here for eternity? I remember I used to do this all the time I used to just write and write until I felt like it.. Hehehe revisiting my past tendencies.. How did I stop back then? I will have to research this.. I will find an entry from my past and paste it here and then maybe I will keep writing or maybe I’ll become content… We will have to see.. Well it turns out the web site where I had a shit load of entries is not active anymore so years of my life is lost somewhere in the cyber world… I did find this short thing I wrote IT’s about dreams and going to sleep here it is:
The satin that caresses our cheeks is but a mere beholder of a day’s end. Threaded accordingly to captivate one’s thoughts into its fabric womb. There it will behold ideas of the past, present, and future with extra dreams to lend. Birthing and nurturing new faces, places, and houses.. But belonging to whom?? I count once.. And then twice.. And then three.. I close my eyes.. And I am set free.
Hmmm I guess I had a point back then… Dreams do take us to different places we are in control of our own dreams whether we think so or not.. SOme dreams are bad.. Some are good… Some are weird.. Some are awkward.. Some are amazing.. and some just aren’t.. I’m still writing aren’t I?? I think I want to stop meow…. but it’s not up to me you see.. but then it is.. ok I’m done typing.. my mood just got killed…
Seriously can’t wait for tomorrow….